


Life Size: A Story For Anyone Whose Been Fed Up With Love

by Lazarus76



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Humour, Hux can't handle it, Hux needs someone to take care of him, a somewhat chubbier Hux results
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6396712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazarus76/pseuds/Lazarus76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is the forbidding, grim faced, Principal of a High School. A new PA begins, and soon realises that the quickest way to this man's heart is through his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Size: A Story For Anyone Whose Been Fed Up With Love

The building seemed pleasant enough.

As you walked up through the gates, you noticed how quiet, how well behaved the students were. There was very little talking or laughing echoing through the hall ways or in the quad. They moved almost silently, not seemingly wanting to stop and exchange eye contact.

You shrug. After a few years in the classroom yourself, you were burned out, and happy to make a switch. Working as a Principal's PA seemed the best option. You could do your job, go home, and have your evenings and weekends to yourself. No more marking, no more planning, no more laborious meetings arguing with parents over their child's attitude. You grinned to yourself. Your interpersonal skills, organisational skills, and meeting of deadlines was second to none.

However, the agency boss who found you this job had urged caution. "Hux," she said, leaning back. "Principal of the D.V. High School." She paused. "He's not easy to work for. I've had three PAs rejected already."

You choke. "Why?" "Apparently they didn't fit the bill. The man is all about discipline, self-control - he's ruthless, from what I gather." She smiled kindly. "But you're an ex-teacher, you may be able to humour him."

You nod. "Ms Organa, I'll try." "Please do. And look out for my son." She grinned at you. "He's an Assistant Principal, and always complains about him. You may be the needed civilising influence!"

Influence or not, you had to get inside. You hurried in, and asked a good looking young man with a cocky grin - "Just call me Poe, Head of Science" - where the Principal's office was. He raised his eyebrows. "Whoa. Seeing him this early?" You smile back. "I work for him. I'm the new PA." At this, Poe looks slightly concerned. "Good luck."

You begin to move on. The man can't be that bad, surely? As you walk up the stairs, a tall, attractive woman in a lemon and cream suit walks down the stairs. She is muttering to herself. "Bloody Hux! I'm the Deputy, does he respect that?! Does he-"

She walks on quickly, and you decide to face this man yourself. As you approach the door, forbiddingly labelled with "B.HUX" on it, you hear raised voices.

"I am NOT going to sign off the budget! Do you know how many consoles you've wrecked in the last six months?!"

"You forget yourself Hux, I am the leading-"

"NO! You forget YOURSELF, Ren! I'm the Principal here, I decide where the money goes, so you-"

At this, the door slammed open, and a tall, almost gangly dark haired man stormed out, virtually bristling. He pays you no attention and flees down the hall. You stand, carefully smoothing down your tailored trouser suit, and adjusting your bag strap. You walk in. 

"Mr Hux?"

A tall, thin man with fair skin and red hair is sitting behind a desk, glowering. You have to suppress a grin - he is reminiscent of the gargoyles you've seen on churches. He looks up, irritably. "Yes?"

"I'm (y/n)".

"And?"

"Your new PA."

"Oh, right." He glares at you. "A few things then. One, never enter without knocking. Two, I don't like lateness. Three, my coffee needs to be ready for me at 8am, 11am, and 2pm. Black, no sugar." He closes his mouth with a snap. "Got it?"

You stand, looking at him. He blinks. "Well?"

"You forgot something."

He looks at you, astonished. "What?"

"Good manners cost nothing," you reply, stiffly. "You could say please."

At this, he rises from his chair. You look at him. He is taller than you expected, and clad entirely in black, including a black shirt, he is intimidating. But you shrug internally - you've taught in some of the toughest schools in the district. The kids there were intimidating. Not this spindly power tripping red head. 

"Please?!" he splutters. "Let's get one thing straight. I give the orders here. Now, coffee." He glares. "And if its of a good standard, you get to keep your job." He checks his watch. "You have five minutes!"

"Of course, Sir," you reply serenely, and head to the outer office - your office - and the kitchenette. You put the kettle on to boil, and find a clean mug. Three spoonfuls of instant, and the water's ready. You calmly pick it up, and deposit it on his desk.

"Well done," he says, his tone grumpy. "Remember - no sugar!"

"You don't have a sweet tooth?" you ask. 

He lowers the report he's reading and glares again. "Do I look like I want to get fat?!"

 _Might do you good!_ You think. But this doesn't show on your face. You turn to head to your office. 

"Emails!" he barks. "Sort them and get back to me!"

"Yes, Sir," you reply sweetly. 

Sitting at your desk, you open the internet, and can't help smiling.

* * *

 

"(Y/N)!"

You jump. Hux is bellowing your name, and you get up, and check the clock. Five minutes to 11am. Second coffee. You immediately begin the preparations. 

At exactly 11am, you're walking into his office, and place it on his desk. He looks at you with his customary irritable expression. "Thank you."

He turns back to his papers. You walk back into your office. Silence. 

Sighing, you begin to type the report that he's requested. Hux, you're beginning to surmise, is something of a miserable individual. He sits in silence, drinks black coffee, shouts at his staff...you shake your head. Suddenly, you hear a rustle, and look up. 

The woman you passed on the stairs is in front of you, smiling. She walks over, and closes the inter connecting office door. Then she sits down opposite you, and smiles. 

"How is it going?"

You look at her and grin. "He's - interesting."

"Oh, he is." She looks like she's trying not to giggle, and her cut glass British accent is melodic. "He's very much in charge, and likes everyone to know it. A sideburn twirling villain!" 

At this you both laugh. Suddenly, the door bursts open, and Hux is standing there, glowering. "Phasma! I thought you had a meeting with me." He ignores you completely. Phasma gets up and walks into the office. You shake your head. 

_What does he want? A kick up the arse. Or something sweet. Something to sweeten his mood._

You pause. He's good looking, no question, in a cold, imperious way - but so thin. You shake your head. Phasma returns, closes the door, and looks at you. "Well?"

You look at her. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

"Hux?" she's trying hard not to laugh. "The very idea!"

You are smiling. "He needs someone to take care of him."

"Oh, God!" Phasma is laughing outright. "You're wonderful! Yes, please - look after him, feed him, love him - perhaps we'll get a softer, more caring , more cuddly Hux?" She wipes her eyes. "Go on, I dare you!"

You  could never refuse a dare. 

"I have to fatten him up, Phasma."

Now she's nearly choking. "Why?!"

"I'd break him otherwise."

At this point, she's leaning on the desk. "Oh, God, I'm so glad you're here!"

You carry on typing, an idea beginning to form. You start smiling. 

* * *

 

"He sounds like a nightmare."

Rey is sitting across from you at the cafe that she runs with Finn, and is laughing as you recount your day with your new boss. She picks up the oatmeal cookie she baked earlier, and bites into it. "How can anyone be that miserable?"

"I have no idea," you confide, "but he needs to live a bit."

"I think we have the right thing - Finn!"

Finn comes out of the back kitchen. "Hey there," he says coming over to you. "I hear you're working for the most detested man in the district."

You slap your forehead. "Of course." Rey is Ren's cousin - the man who had an unfortunate encounter with Hux earlier that day. "What do you know, Finn?"

"That he's cold, calculating, and ruthless." Finn sits down, his face comically smudged with flour. "But Rey here reckons he's in need of some good lovin.'"

"He's in need of a good slap," you retort, which has all three of you laughing. Rey wipes her eyes. "Well, we have the thing. Chocolate chip cookies. Leave them on his desk. That might sweeten him up!"

You take the package, and they make you promise to give you updates. You're happy to. He's not a bad man - just lonely, and somewhat unhappy. 

"Time to live a bit, Hux," you mumble as you leave. 

* * *

 

The following morning, he's there before you arrive, and you notice he looks tired. His eyes are shadowed slightly, and he's staring glumly at his desk blotter. 

You walk in with a tray, and place the mug and plate in front of him. 

He looks up. "(y/n)?"

"Yes?"

"What are these?"

He's pointing at the cookies as though they are lethal explosives. You smile. "Chocolate chip cookies. Try one."

"I don't eat cookies," he snaps, his face settling into its customary grim expression. "My diet is sugar free, wheat free, diary free-"

"Fun free?"

You realise you might have over stepped the mark. He stops stirring his coffee and glares at you. 

"Get out." His tone is cold. "Go and find something to do that justifies me paying you, rather than you trying to force feed me."

"I haven't tied you to the chair yet," you mutter, turning away.

"WHAT?"

"Oh, I haven't worked out what to do this morning yet," you improvise, realising he may have overheard your barbed comment. 

Hux is looking at you with open dislike. "Let me make this very clear," he says, pointing at you. "You do my filing, type my reports, sort my emails, deal with my phone calls. That's what you do. Don't try and be clever, don't try and be feisty, don't try and be sassy. Discipline. Discipline is how I run this, do you understand?"

You nod. "Of course."

"Good." He slumps back to read his report. "Now, go."

You turn and leave. 

And you also leave the cookies.

* * *

 

The following day, Hux doesn't speak to you. He merely grunts as you leave coffee on his desk. 

At 2pm, you go in with his third coffee of the day. 

"Have you got any more of those cookies?"

You blink. "You ate them?"

He glares. "No. I put them in the bin. But today I missed lunch. Very long meeting." He looks at you. "Well?"

You swallow. Rey gave you a bag ful, and there are some in your desk. "I, yes."

"Excellent. One please. Hurry up."

You try to ignore his sharp tone, and go into your office. You open the door, and pull out the bag. Picking out one, you put it on a plate and walk in with it, leaving it on his desk. 

"Thanks," he mumbles, his hand reaching for it. 

You turn, trying not to smile as he bites into it, and you hear what could be a small yelp of pleasure at the sugar rush. 

(y/n)?"

"Sir?"

"Have you got any more?"

Smiling, you get up. 

* * *

 

You're checking an email the next afternoon, when you hear a cough. You look up. Kylo Ren is standing in front of you, grinning. "Go on," he says, his lanky frame folding into a chair. "Tell me."

You look at him, smiling innocently. "Tell you what?"

"Tell me how you managed to feed Hux a cookie." Kylo is clearly trying not to laugh. "SLT meeting last night. He had crumbs on his face!"

You giggle at that. "Well, I offered it to him."

"I'm impressed." Ren is snickering. "Phasma often reckons the way to his heart is through his stomach!"

"Oh, absolutely," Phasma comments, walking in. "I'm here to congratulate you. Getting Hux to indulge is something of a-"

"YOU THREE! IN HERE, NOW!"

You all look at each other. "OK," Kylo comments, and walks in, followed by Phasma, and yourself. 

Hux is almost shaking with rage. His ice blue eyes are burning, and he's directing them at you.

"I cannot believe," he spits, his voice eerily controlled, "how my PA, and two of my deputies, think me having a cookie merits such mirth." He's now openly blazing. "How amusing it is, clearly! Yes, I ate a stodgy, sweet, not very good cookie yesterday. My PA needs to learn that I am not here to be fattened up like sacrificial lamb, and my deputies need to learn to mind their own business."

He glares at the three of you. "UNDERSTAND?!!"

You nod, and Phasma and Ren are silent. The three of you walk back to your work stations. 

* * *

 

Hux is extremely taciturn with you for the rest of the week. Thankfully its only two days. But by Friday, you want to try and make amends. At 8am, you gently tap on his door. He looks up, and his expression is one of exhaustion. "Yes?"

"Coffee, Sir." You are polite, and put it on his desk. He looks at you. "Thank you."

"Is there- anything else?"

Hux looks at you. "No," he says, hastily. "But thank you."

You bite your lip. "Its just-"

"Yes?"

"I still have some of those cookies in my desk."

He leans back in his chair. "I'm beginning to wonder about you. Am I going to come into my office one morning to find you've got a large cage installed, to push me into?"

You blink, slightly confused. "Excuse me?"

"Haven't you heard of Hansel and Gretel?" his voice is slightly taunting. "A clever girl like you should. After all, you were a teacher. What happened? Couldn't handle it?"

At this, he's smirking. The smug expression on his face makes you want to slap him, and then you recover your dignity. You stand tall. 

"I taught for six years, in some of the toughest districts." Your voice is cool. "I dealt with kids who had real problems. Now I'm dealing with a spoiled little boy with control issues. What's wrong, Hux? Didn't your mother ever let you have treats? Or were you a chubby kid and bullied?" 

His face is paling. You are shorter than him, but you have strength due to many sessions in the gym, and suspect you could easily floor him in a fight. He turns round in his chair, and looks into the mug.

"That will be all," he says quietly. "Please make sure you check my emails by 9am."

You nod. "Of course."

You head back to your desk. You should feel victorious - but you feel diminished. Biting your lip, you settle to your work. 

* * *

 

You talk to Rey after work. She clicks her tongue sympathetically. 

"Sounds like it got heated."

"Yep." You drain your cappuccino. "Now he probably hates me."

"No," she says, quietly. "He hates the fact you stood up to him. Kylo has often complained he's a bully. And it wouldn't surprise me if he had been fat as a kid - it would explain the constant control now."

"Give him a peace offering," Finn booms, walking out the kitchen. He places a cake in front of you. Your eyes bulge. "Is that-"

"Mocha," Rey nods. "Our best. Peace offering."

"ok."

* * *

 

The following day, Hux is not in when you arrive. You make coffee, and frown. Suddenly, at five minutes past 8, he's in. You blink. "Oh, you're here-"

"Yes," he says, slumping in his seat. "I went running this morning."

You frown. "Early, wasn't it?"

"Well, I felt I needed to," he mumbled, and stares at the desk. You swallow. "Hux-"

He looks up. "What happened to Sir?"

"Well -" you pause. "Is this because of what I said yesterday?"

"Don't flatter yourself," he snaps. "I don't let the views of a PA cloud my judgement."

You shrug. The man is impossible. You fetch his coffee and plonk it on his desk. He looks at it, then you. You turn away.

"(y/n)?"

"Yes?"

"Yesterday-" he is biting his lip. "I was not a chubby child, all right? So don't try and psychoanalyse me. I just think life is better when its disciplined."

"Fair enough." You turn. Then you turn back.

"But has it ever occurred to you it might be better if its more fun?"

Hux blinks. "I-"

You sigh. And turn back to your office. Sitting down, you open your emails, and an idea comes to you. Quickly, you write one to Phasma and Kylo, and press send.

* * *

 

"So where is this amazing cake?!"

You look up. Phasma and Kylo are in the office, and you're happy to serve it to them. The clinking of the cutting gets Hux's attention. He comes through the doorway. "What's going on?"

"Cake, Hux," Phasma says, showing him her slice. "Want one?"

He blinks, and looks at you. You merely smile sweetly. "Go on..."

"I shouldn't", he murmurs, but you are smiling. "Its really good. Just - try."

He nods. "All right."

As Hux takes a forkful, you feel a sense of pleasure. 

As you look outside, you realise its starting to snow. 

* * *

Going home tonight is going to be difficult. You use public transport, and the snow is already six inches deep. You bite your lip. Hux ordered the students to leave early, and most of the staff have gone, but you felt you should stay late, after the small incidents you've had. 

Finally, at five, you're ready to leave. You make sure your boots are carefully sealed, and your coat is fully zipped. You leave the building. 

Its colder than you realise. As you walk, you feel your feet sinking in, and you suddenly realise its going to take you far longer to get home than you anticipated. But you carry on, and notice the coldness is creeping up your legs. 

You're miserable. You continue, but its started snowing again, and now you're beginning to wonder if you'll even get home. 

Suddenly, a car pulls up. A sleek black one, and the driver's window winds down. You peer in. Hux.

"Get in," he orders," his tone abrupt. You meekly concede.

"Thank you."

"Where do you live?"

"At 218, Legaston Street."

"The other side of town to me." He sighs with irritation. "However, I'm not letting you walk in this." He turns the wheel and carefully continues to drive. 

You're silent on the journey. He's doing you a favour. As you pull up to his house, the snow is falling very thickly. 

"Hux-" you falter.

"Yes?"

"You won't get anywhere with this." You are biting your lip. "Don't you want to come in? I'll cook."

He leans back. "I have a PA who is officially trying to be my feeder." He raises an eyebrow. "Do I have a choice?"

"Yes," you respond, airily. "I'll put your pictures on the internet when you reach 300lbs, or would you prefer 350lbs?"

You look at him again. You could have sworn he was smiling. "Well, let's go," he says, gently. You get out, followed by him. 

As you enter the house, you head for the kitchen. "Follow me!"

He does, and not reluctantly. You are rooting through the fridge. 

"OK, so its pasta. Hope that's all right?"

He nods. "Yes, thank you."

"Good. You need to eat some decent food," you comment, pulling things out and getting ready to prepare them. He swallows. "Why all this concern for me then, (y/n)?"

"Because," you say, turning to him, "you're too thin. Sorry, but its true." You're grinning at him now. "You're pretty hot, but thin."

Hux is going slowly red. "Is this appropriate?"

"We're out of work." You're looking at him, trying not to laugh at his flustered reaction. "Hux, you're gorgeous, but I do wonder if you really just need to be tied to the bed and spoon fed cheesecake."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh don't worry," you say, breezily. "I'd get arrested, no doubt."

"It would go all over my suit."

You look at him. He's smiling. "Did you-"

"Yes, (y/n), even I have a sense of humour." His tone is brisk, but his eyes are full of light. "Now, do you need help?"

You smile. "Maybe you could chop lettuce?"

"I think I can manage that."

* * *

"This is delicious," Hux says, appreciatively. You smile at him. "Another helping?"

He looks at you. "You really are trying to make me put on 20lbs in a sitting, aren't you?"

"More of you to love," you retort, and at the point he goes scarlet. "But don't worry," you say, quickly, "you're never going to end up on the internet."

"Oh, good," he says, drily. "My mother will be delighted." He takes a sip of red wine. "She was always on a diet."

"Really?"

"Yes." He puts his glass down. "My father ate what he liked, overindulged, and ended up dying of a heart attack." He sighs. "So I suppose I've grown up believing food has to be controlled - especially as it all tends to go to my stomach."

You shake your head. "No way to live, Hux."

"Yes, well, my life is strange, I confess." He looks at you. "But you- you're a little different. Sweet, salty, and not afraid of me."

"Good." You nibble on a forkful. "Eat your pasta."

He's grinning now. "Why, don't I get any dessert otherwise?"

"That's right."

Hux looks at you. "What if I asked if we could eat it in bed?"

You nearly choke. "Are you-"

"Yes." He's up, and suddenly, right next to you, and you're next to him. He's tracing your lips with his finger. "Maybe you are a wicked witch who is fattening me up to eat me," he murmurs, "but if you are, I can't think of a better way to go."

"Well, I did once get told the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

He leans in and kisses you, deeply. 

"Indeed," he whispers as he pulls away. "Because it nourishes my heart." 

"Hux?"

"Hmmm?"

"I don't have a cage."

"Good." He's grinning now. "Because the rate you're feeding me I'd outgrow it quickly." 

"Oh, don't worry," you murmur, holding onto his shirt. "We can still exercise."

"Dessert afterwards?"

"Why not?"

He kisses you deeply. "Why are we waiting?"

 

 


End file.
